Woe is not me with Woebot app

A couple days ago I added the Woebot app to my personal self improvement toolbox.

Woebot is an artificial intelligence app that guides me through CBT counseling. It is a type of counseling essentially that teaches healthy mental coping skills essentially through a dialog with the AI.

Actual people never see the conversations.

The app is built to encourage and guide extra positive dialog between the user(me) and the AI.

Along the way, each day includes a lesson. Today it was about identifying 3 things that I am grateful for.

Yesterday, it was about identifying ‘should’ language in my own words and in others.

I also attend two weekly group counseling sessions, one is based on DBT. This too is about identifying the duality of things, and not getting hung up on labeling something as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but instead moving foreword mindfully, not reacting but making thoughtful choices to improve our now and sometimes our future.

The combination of all of this therapy is definitely helping me.

Focusing back on Woebot for a second… it is a free app. I am including a couple screen shots of the app page and then one of my own interactions with the app.

You will notice the ‘Bye’ button with the hands clapping emoji at the end.

The app often provides a suggested response to speed things along. These response suggestions are always empathetic but in a very positive frame.

This drives me as the user to initially frame things in a positive light.

I can always override that and type something if it does not apply. I find that this suggestively also helps me practice positive reframing cheating me up.

Each daily interaction takes no more than 2-3 minutes.

I highly recommend this. It will not solve all problems but is a nice quick help everyday.

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Eating 4 month old Halloween Skittles while blogging

A few big things – One Each Day

The first week of the year was not a classic New Year experience. I had no time for coming up with a New Year’s wishlist of things to do.

I ran around trying to keep people healthy, get them better from being sick with the ick, flu, stomach bug, head cold, cough, puke, sore throat, etc.

I worked to dodge it all myself as I had just gotten better on antibiotics the week before. I almost succeeded. (Head cold 2.0 caught up with me)

My ‘To Do’ list got longer each day, and I rarely marked anything off…..

But!

I did get some big things!

Over the course of three days….

Parks and Recreation Committee Citizen Advisory Board

I had an interview for a position on the board of a group in my city.

The City council members interviewed me. After I and the other interviewees left, they had a vote.

I got the position. (I do not think it pays anything.)

Charlotte WordPress Meetup Group Organizers

I connected with an acquaintance, who was interested in the WordPress group I have organized in Charlotte since 2008.  He and a friend of his were planning on going and speaking at the Greenville and the Atlanta WordCamps soon. They wanted to put together a group for a road trip or something.  I’ve been to the Atlanta event twice, spoke at one of those.  I have not been to the Greenville event.  Sounded great to me.

My group needs new organizers and I invited them to become co-organizers. They were both interested, and I’m excited to add some fresh blood to the team.  I’m looking to get the group back on track to hold a WordCamp in Charlotte sometimes in late 2019 (at least 18 months from now) and lots of regular new meetups along the way.

I need to find more co-organizers and add more diversity, but was happy to have some new eager members right at the beginning of the year!

Book Organization mind mapping Software

On Saturday, I spent a few hours getting an important software program running on my Mac. I’ve been writing two books. One of them has gotten more complex than originally planned and I needed a very good mindmapping program to help me organize the chapters, and the purpose and social media plans for those chapters, and much much more.

I have that ready and prepared to run with it.

Finishing my book, loosely titled ‘Happy on Facebook’ is one of my primary goals for the early part of the year.  It’s going to be a lot more than a book.

Vision Boarding for Couples

Today, Sunday, my girlfriend and I worked together to create a joint vision board.  We did it! (made the vision board)

I had very happily and successfully made one of these for myself 5 months ago.  A couple years back, she helped coach me in something similar as well (using post its and a write up).

We now have a large 4×4 foot paper right outside the bedroom door. The first thing we’ll see in the morning after we roll out of bed.  That happens to be near the front door in the hallway too! So we will see it coming and going as well.

It felt like almost everyone in the house was sick last week, but they are getting better now. I made it through and am looking forward to an easier week and many more big things falling into place.

Oops! – Update and I mate it to first week of Therapy!

Almost forgot, I made it to my first week of therapy at the VA.  I am now in a DBT therapy group, which was very helpful right away. And I had my second session with a psychologist. She guided me to track my time in a log.

I downloaded an app to my iPhone and I’ve been going to town with that!

 

More to come on that later, I’m going to be posting something regularly with my activities, mostly to help hold myself accountable to get things done!

Index card with '2018 Goals' followed by cluttered up question marks over top of it - 2018 Goals - Lost in the cold and sickness

When does the New Year start, seem to have missed that…

Three days into the New Year and things have not started as I expected.

Expectations, can’t be happy with them, can’t always live life without dodging them.

The last five days have been a whirl wind, no they have been a vortex.

I blame the polar vortex and global weirding.

I was on vacation for the holidays visiting my parents in the midwest.  I had my kids with me and had some great times visiting with my family, brother and nephews and more.  The polar vortex dipped through the midwest while we were there and brought very cold temps and more snow than is typical there.

I missed an opportunity to visit my Grandmother due to one of the snows.

My own bad, or lack of planning is to blame for that as much as the weather.

While this was a vacation, I had to work. I had things I had to finish up for clients for the year end, for their year end, and for my own.  I was more productive in that week at my parents house than I had been for much of December.  It felt good to get caught up.

Plus, if I had not gotten caught up, there would have been no money for rent nor gas money to drive home.

Throughout the holiday, I felt a bit like the character Randy Quaid played in Christmas Vacation. Except maybe his character had it together a bit more.

Randy Quaid fm Christmas vacation

But, by the end of vacation, I felt like I was getting life well in hand. I survived Christmas. I had plans for coming back and getting even more organized and ready for the New year.

A twelve hour drive zapped me a bit.  That was followed by a New Year’s eve intended to be low key playing games with friends went a bit off the rails.

It wasn’t bad, just not as low key and easy as I envisioned.

For reasons that I’ll leave offline, I even took a time out to wash my the salt off my car while standing bare foot in a car wash covered in ice from previous washings in 26 degree temps.  I needed it at the time to keep my feet dry and to ground myself.

My girlfriend came down with a stomach bug, not the man flu, late that night after the new year had started. The next day I did my best to nurse her through the day.

We had previously and casually planned to work on some vision boards together that day. We had plans of getting more in sync for the new year with our intentions and goals and things.

Instead, we did our best to stay healthy and awake.

It was ok. Sometimes the best we can do is to live to play another day.

My children had stayed with my ex overnight on New Years. It was my holiday with the kids and then my week after that week for custody too.  I picked them up New Years day in the evening. We said goodbye’s to my oldest. He went back to college the next day.

I managed to get my girls to school yesterday after a 2 hour delay for the vortex that had reached down to North Carolina.

I had more big plans to head to the VA to kick off some self improvement work on myself. I had 2 appointments scheduled. One to see a psychiatrist (first visit) and another to begin a psychologist lead group.  I’ve joined / signed up for 2 rounds of group therapy. One that is 8 weeks and another that is 30 weeks long.  I opted to see a psychiatrist as well.

I’ve been working to cope with a low level of depression. I became aware of it almost a year ago. I’ve found some things that help, simple things like taking a 200mg caffeine pill in the morning.  Other things like meditation, sleep meditation music, yoga, exercise and more. (the list is long)

But my life currently has very little safety net. My rainy day fund has a negative balance.

I have made tremendous strides to improve my business, my work, my finances and more these last six months.

I have a long way to go. I feel I need the group work to help me talk through and work through some of my challenges. I feel like I have a few blind spots.

I do not have solutions for these blind spots. I feel the need for coaching. I feel the need to develop more coping skills to address them.

Maybe a psychiatrist will be able to help. Maybe there’s a prescription that might see me through part of it.

I’m disinclined to turn to a prescription for many reasons.

BUT

I’m not going to leave any stone unturned in my attempts to turn my life around.

Without a safety net, I have little room for mistakes. This is both a feeling and a truth.

So I left the house yesterday to head to my appointment.

I arrived and attempted to sign into the electronic kiosk for the appointments.

No appointments were in the system!

???

I reached down to grab my phone and double check.

No phone!

I doubled back to my car, found my phone had fallen out of the clip thingy, and was lying in the car seat. I pulled up my calendar and realized, I had the wrong day. The appointment was not for the 2nd, but the 3rd.

:p

So I drove back home, and tacked into a different day. I did not get nearly as much accomplished yesterday as I could of. I was thrown off a bit.  I couldn’t quite course correct and switch gears fast enough from what I had expected the day would be and into what the day was.

This was exactly the type of scenario that I’m hoping therapy will help me address!

I feel like I need help in coping with the days and things that ‘throw me off.’

When I served in the Army twenty plus years ago, I used to describe this as ‘Walking into a fart’.

In the military, you could see people doing this all the time. A great person would suddenly have this look on their face, like they had just walked into a fart. Maybe someone had yelled at them. Maybe they had just encountered some bureaucratic snafu that had stopped them in their tracks. Maybe something very bad had just happened in their life or their career.  Maybe all of these things had happened at once.

In the military, this kind of thing typically happens to soldiers about every 4-5 days. Sometimes more often. I personally feel that First Sergeants experience this more than any other person.  First Sergeants in the Army are Non Commissioned Officers (NCO’s) that are responsible for a company of enlisted soldiers. Most First Sergeants, especially new ones, develop this almost permanent look on their face like they are perpetually walking into a fart.

The First Sergeants that survive this will eventually learn to let it go. These are the amazing people that later go onto become Master Sergeants.  They are a unique class of human similar to a monk or shaman that can let all of this go, and still do amazing things.

I digress….

There have been times in my life where I was able to let these things go. I’d easily and rapidly surf my way out of a fart and into a better environment, a path that did not stink.

If I could not do one thing, I’d change gears and go do something else.  I’d come back to the other thing, when I could.

In my current life and career, I’ve lost that capability a bit.

In some ways, that’s not a bad thing. I need the focus and determination to see a thing through at times.  That requires persistence and more. Dropping a project that runs into a fart, stalls, and moving to a different one, does not always serve my clients well.

The walking into a far analogy also breaks down.

Consider it a situation where I have to put on a biohazard suit or something and work in a different way.

Soooo….

I’m hoping to build up some skills, some coping skills in particular, to be able to don the biohazard suit and get things done more efficiently.  In some cases, I’m hoping that coaching or these coping skills might enable me to see around corners beyond my blind spots.

I need to be able to see the bumps in the road from a greater distance so that I can dodge them, or surf around them.

So today, instead of yesterday, I’ll be kicking off this new work on myself.

I’m not walking into this work with a new vision plan. However, I do have a solid 6 month vision plan that I made 5 months ago. It has significantly helped me to achieve the things I have done during this time.

It has helped give me confidence. It has helped see me through anxiety and depression at times as well.

I can see what I need to do, where I need to go. I can give myself credit for the good things, I have done to get me there.

I can see the things I have not yet finished. I can see the things I have not done as well as I would have liked.

Case in Point

I wanted to write and publish 2 books these last six months.

That’s a big goal.

However, I have been working on one book since 2010.

I’ve been working on another since 2015.

I published neither of them.

However, I did write and publish a different book all together 3 months ago! (Goal half accomplished).

I wrote and published a children’s book. I did it as much to learn how the process worked as to check something off my list.

In doing so, I can better see the path forward to finishing my bigger, more important to me, other books.

So as I wrap this last month of my 6 month vision up, maybe I’ll get that 2nd book done.

If so, goal accomplished.  

It could have been better, publishing both of my 2 important books. But if I can get 1 important book and a ‘practice’ book done, I’m still doing good!

We’ll see. 🙂

These are not expectations. These are goals.

And in the shorter term of this week or something, I’m simply hoping to keep myself healthy, avoid the flu, the viruses, the bugs, and more.

Maybe I will even get my 2018 goals ready, a 2018 vision board for the entire year would be even better!

Your Rights and Responsibilities in Marriage

Here’s a great guide that I found from the blog Lessons from the End of a Marriage. Highly recommend this blog for anyone that is married now, is preparing to be married or is coming out of a marriage.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Your Rights In a Marriage

1 – You have the right to be safe.

You are entitled to be physically unharmed in your marriage. This right extends to the protection of all dimensions of abuse, from emotional to financial. You have the right to an expectation that your spouse does not seek to harm you and that if they inadvertently do, that they do not blame you for the transgression.

You have the right to feel safe in your marriage. However, and this is an important clarification, it is not your spouses responsibility to ensure that you are never uncomfortable with a situation. There will be times where you feel threatened because you are triggered. There will be times when you are scared of the content and importance of a conversation.

2 – You have the right to be informed.

You have the right to have access to any and…

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Vision Board Example - pexels-photo-264693

I Never Wear Bandanas – Vision Boards, Tree Chopping and Cruise Lines Now Hiring

“A Tree: First you chop it down, then you chop it up” ~ George Carlin
This morning I finished meditating. Now, I’m sitting at the top of a carpeted stair case. At this time of day, I can soak in the limited pre-winter sun beam that only comes in this one window . I have a bandana tied around my head.
I never wear bandanas.
I’m getting into my un-comfort zone. I’m trying to feel the world from a different perspective with my third eye blindfolded.
Earlier, I read an article by a friend and client. He was not happy with the state of his new industry.

Vision Boards – WTF

While I read, I kept glancing up at my vision board. A vision board is a drawing. It is part mission statement, part goal. These combine in a visual diagram drawn next to an image of the current state of affairs. In the middle is a list of three things that take a person or group from the current state of affairs to the future goal. It is not created in the order I just described.
I’m working in my un-comfort zone. If you continue reading, give up expectations of order.
I watched a TedTalk earlier. Actually, I watched three. The first was in Spanish and talked about floating balloon cities. I don’t speak Spanish but I’m learning French again. I did understand the words Mucho Grande. I liked this talk quite a bit, partly because I named my daughter after the President of the solar system. He ruled from a bubble city floating above Jupiter.
Another Ted Talk discussed Slow Hunches or something. It described how Darwin felt that he had an epiphany when he came up with his theory of natural selection. Darwin’s copious notes tell a different story. He developed a strong, slow hunch about Natural selection months before he realized what he was thinking.
I might be slow hunching now.
The same talk described the benefits of ‘opening up to each other’ and mixing ideas to create amazing new solutions. The genesis of GPS is an example of such a beast.
My friend’s article felt a bit like a complaint with no solution.
There’s nothing wrong with complaining. In fact, I find that I rarely get something fixed (quickly) until I have complained about it out loud. In fact, the faster I say something is ‘impossible’, the faster I figure out how to make it possible.
We often need to put voice to the pain we feel so that we can do something to change the state of things.
As I ponder his challenge, I keep thinking, this article was a complaint, but it could have been a vision board.
It could be an article that sets up the problem (the current state). It could then paint a portrait of a future state.
Then it could list 3 things that could be done now to move in the direction of the future state. It might not solve the problems of the current state.
However, problems like navigating through a forest, is sometimes easier to do after we start.
We need to move in the direction of a thing, before we can ever course correct.
Unless, someone has a GPS Problem satellite, hovering 150k feet above us, that can calculate where we are and where we need to be and how to get there.
Now there’s an idea. How do we do that?
What is our Value in the world?
This was one of the core issues of this article. A group was trying to offer work to a single person by courting hundreds if not thousands of people to compete for the same job.
In chasing a large number of people, they had cut the offer amount to about one third of what it should have listed for according to my friend. Their thought must have been, if we put this out there to a large enough group of people, someone will take it at this price and we’ll save tens of thousands of dollars.
My friend noted, that when this happens, it decreases the value for everyone in the industry. A lower tide lowers all ships.
Fun Fact -The offer came from a cruise line.
I just brought my girlfriend’s three legged cat in from outside. She had gone out to ‘eat the grass’. It’s a part of her daily routine. She doesn’t stay long now that it is colder outside. Her remaining bones get chilled easy. Now, she is sitting atop the stairs in the sun beam I occupied before.
She’s trying to creep onto my lap, but that spot is taken by my laptop.

Future Vision – A World with Visions & fewer complaints

  1. So, I’m going to create a blog template. Something that is preformatted to showcase a problem, the current state. Something that is also pre-formatted to showcase the future state with solutions running.
  2. Then it will have a big arrow connecting those two things.
  3. Finally over top the arrow will be a quick list of things that can be done to help make it so.
  4. Bonus Round – There will also be an invitation for readers to chime in and co-mingle their visions of how they can make it so too.

What the Goal Isn’t

In this situation, the goal would not be to have a bunch of people tell my friend how to do the thing better nor argue about the 3 methods he might conceive of.

What the Goal is

The goal is to get more people envisioning their own role in the thing, and sharing how they would fit in the system.
For my military friends out there, this might be a little similar to the brainstorming process that comes with an After Action review, where everyone works to identify 3 things that went well and 3 things that could have gone better. The idea with an AAR is to keep what works and improve upon what isn’t working well enough. It is an iterative brainstorm.
This Vision Post could be helpful for the individual that writes it, but it could evolve into an iterative Hive Vision Post as well.
Bringing multiple people together in common vision cause to make the world a better place….
Now to do the thing!

Afternoon Addendum

I ran with some of the playful creativeness of the morning. I made an initial draft of a template for a  Blog Post Template for a Vision Board.
You can see a bit here…
no-pen-idea-bulb-paper Pexels.com 8704

Lack of Consent – Your Resistance is taking me Higher?

This title should be re-written maybe….

Your LoveResistance is not taking me Higher

I was partially inspired by the Jackie Wilson song ‘Higher and Higher’

This is the ironic or sarcastic feeling I have at the moment.

I do not feel higher. I feel lower.

I have a habit that brings me down.

I like to find things that work. I like to find things that make life better. Sometimes the things I find are solutions. Sometimes they are not solutions but make other things better enough that the problem is not a big deal anymore.

All this is great if I do these things for myself.

All this is not great if someone else does not want to do this AND I attempt to brainstorm with them.

I have held a number of positive notions about brainstorming for a long time.

What is a brainstorm?

Per google

brainstorm definition

brainstorm definition

Brainstorm Assault

As I write this, far too many people are in the news for sexual assault, sexual harassment and more. In some of those cases, consent is a major issue.  Consent does not always make the difference between something being appropriate or inappropriate, but it does correlate in many of the cases.

I feel like I am almost always in brainstorming mode. I’d posit that my brain is just wired that way. It’s my natural state of rest.

Maybe brainstorming is my super power, maybe it is my kryptonite.

The thing is, brainstorming is a group activity. It generally requires consent from the members that will take part. With that consent comes the rules of brainstorming that might include the concept that all ideas have some merit, even if they are only there to be the creative spark, or bridge to something else. Maybe some ideas are the things that help us contrast other ideas, ergo some offerings in a brainstorming session might really be pretty bad and help us see more clearly what is really good.

However, it is important in a brainstorming session to not naysay someone else’s contribution.  Bringing negativity to a brainstorming session is the best way to twist the hose of productivity into a tight knot.

Getting knotted up before receiving consent

This is my challenge. I’m almost always in brainstorming mode. Yet, I lose awareness that this is not the state of existence for many others.

If I reply in a conversation with a brainstorming like suggestion, I get stepped on. I sometimes get stepped on hard.

I have experienced this professionally. I have experienced this in relationships. I experienced it today.

I can listen well. I can hear well. I can give space.

These skills can help others gain insight into their root problems, challenges, hang ups, etc.

Sometimes, it is simply helpful to be heard.  Sometimes, we need an assist to see problems, challenges, hangups and more.

But…

I almost always want to jump into brainstorm mode. It is not easy to turn this off.

Many people (maybe most) rarely ask for consent to ‘just be heard and nothing else.’  They will often ‘dump’ their problems on others.  The intent of their sharing is not expressed. Consent to be heard is not requested.

Consent can be a two way street

People that want to be heard (only) need to request consent to be heard (or hire someone for that – often called a therapist).

People that want to jump into brainstorming mode need to request consent for that as well (or hire a team of people for that – often called employees).

When a person that wants to be heard crosses a brainstormers path and neither ask for consent, tensions rise.

The person that wants to be heard will not feel like they are being heard. They will hear and endless list of alternatives. It will sound like ‘should have done‘ suggestions. They will feel judged. They will feel guilt for not having done better. They will not hear their feelings expressed back to them let alone recognition that those feelings are ‘OK’.

The person that wants to brainstorm a problem and improve or solve it will feel resistance to their suggestions. Their good ideas, bad ideas and everything in between will all be shot down, not on merit, but because they were suggested at all.

The resistance to being heard and the resistance to opening the flow to creatively brainstorm will bring both people down energetically.

It will feel like shit. It might feel like an argument. It might feel like stubbornness. It might feel like uncaring callousness. It will feel confusing.

The person that dumps without consent will seek someone else to re-dump on as they still have not been heard.

The person that brainstorms without consent will seek someone else also as their creativity has not been heard either.

Both will eventually isolate and give up if this repeats.

If I can’t be heard, why should I share my feelings?

Two heads are better than one

This truism applies in brainstorming. Almost everyone in the western world has heard this saying. I suspect there are similar sayings in other cultures.

The thing is, not everyone has been educated or trained in brainstorming, how to do it nor how to do it effectively.

The same is true of actively listening. Most people have little education or training in how to engage in active listening.

Should know better

I have both education and training in both.

I still can’t get the consent part right. My education and training and my ability to internalize the lessons from both have only just started to spark awareness of the importance of consent here.

This article is written, as I work on this awareness. I’m attempting to build my awareness higher and higher.

If I can get the consent right, maybe I can connect in love more effectively both to actively listen and to actively brainstorm at the right time.

If I do not, the resistance will never truly take me higher. It will hold me back and thwart my progress. It will prevent me from being able to help others as well!

 

So….

Your LoveResistance is not taking me Higher,

but it is helping me see the way!

Moving beyond being Stuck

Move Past Things that Hold Us Back

I had surgery last week. A small skin cancer tumor no longer resides below my right eye in my cheek.

I never had cancer before. This was a ‘small’ cancer. It was not life threatening. It could cause problems later in life, but it is gone now.

I never had a surgery that cut into my skin before. I received many stitches in my face. I am fortunate. These stitches are my first too.

The surgery was 5 days ago. It took more out of me than I expected. I slept a great deal.

I could not smile for several days. That took a lot out of me too.

Before the surgery, my life kept accelerating. It grew and it grew better, but the surgery forced me to slow down and pause.

I need to speed up again.

Things are holding me back. I can feel them. I need to move past these ‘things’.

I do not know how, so I am writing through it here and now to find my path again.

What holds me back?

First, there are things that hold me back. There are things that help me move forward with ease. I need to remove the former and heal or repair the latter.

Example

I am depressed. This holds me back.

I am unable to exercise due to stitches for a few more days. This prevents me from running or practicing yoga. Those are things that help me move forward with ease.

The depression has many roots. Some are ‘all in my head’. I have an initial therapy appointment for the second week of December. This is the earliest the VA can get me in to start working on me.

I made the steps to get that going though!

My finances are upside down. I have worked on this for quite a while. I make progress every week. Yet, I am still in the upside down. This is frustrating and a driver of my depression as well.

I work to accept what I cannot fix in the now. I work to fix what I can. It is far easier to do this work well, when I do not feel depressed. The depression creates a ‘catch 22’.

I self medicate with a 200 mg caffeine pills as a daily supplement. This gets me through the hardest time of day, mornings.

It’s not enough. It helps.

I suffer from distractions. I do not call this ADD or ADHD. I do not have a diagnosis for either.

I get hung up on things:

Cash Flow Problems – Clients that do not pay me or pay slowly. This is a big trigger for me. Even when the amount is inconsequential, it can stop me in my tracks.
News & Politics – For 18 months I kept these out of my life. It helped. They have seeped back into life.
Interruptions – Running errands for myself or the family distracts me. This is a big one. As a half time single parent, it can be more challenging every other week. I get behind when I have custody of my children. Writing that sentence makes me feel guilty as hell.

This list is not comprehensive. It is a small sample.

It helps me to have many things to do.

Before writing this:

  • I unloaded the dishwasher,
  • reloaded my medicine box for the next week,
  • made the bed,
  • took a shower,
  • dressed my wound, and
  • had a healthy snack.

These small tasks gave me momentum to start writing.

Writing will be another task that will help me move onto client work that requires more writing.

That will feed to another task and another.

I build momentum to move forward. Moving is necessary to move past things that hold me back.

How do I move past this?

It helps me to write out the things that ail me. I need to put voice to a thing to move past it.

So writing this now, is helping me move past everything I mention herein.

Writing alone is not enough. Therapy next month will help.

Reading books, taking courses, viewing things on screens that inspire help me too.

I am overdue for a trip to the comedy club. Laugh therapy always helps me. I laugh at life’s challenges all the time. I often have a ‘good attitude’ even while depressed.

Laughing ‘at my circumstances’ is not healthy. It is self deprecatory.

Laughing along with an audience led by a professional comedian can be very healthy.

I need that soon.

I need to get out and dance as well. Music and moving to music, helps me metabolize my depression. It helps me transform into a positive person.

I need that soon too.

Did I really put the monster down?

In a month or a year or 5, will I look back and witness that I moved past the things that held me back?

Will I have put down the monster?

I do not know.

I will set some goals. I need to consciously see what I am working to improve. I need to KNOW when I have achieved it.

I will need to course correct if I fall of the path. I will need to adjust my goals if my view from the next vista indicates, I have chosen poorly.

In some ways, I may never put the monster down. That’s ok.

For many years, I never needed most of this stuff.

Well, I did, but I didn’t know it.

I lived without knowing what I needed to be happy, healthy, or to perform at peak performance.

I know better now.

Many of these steps are one part first aid and another part ongoing maintenance.

If I heal for now, and stop performing the maintenance, a serious problem might develop.

First aid might not be enough!

I can get to an easier place in life. I can get back to a place where I have things taken care of as part of my regular routine.

Next Steps for Me

So I will publish this short article. I will help a client and then another and another.

I will help some of those same clients pay me.

I will improve my work and business. I am doing a lot to get far more organized. I am cutting costs too using new tools.

I will build more momentum.

My face will heal and the cut will stop oozing blood at unfortunate times.

I will exercise again. I will reboot my head practicing yoga again.

I will do many more things and do them well.

I will make mistakes and learn from some of them. With luck and effort, I will learn from all of them!

What would you do? What would be next for you?

I do not know everything. I am in unchartered territory and learning as I go.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

🙂

Enough about me. How are you? What would you do for you?

What will you do next for you?

Care to share some notes? Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe not.

I do know that it is healthy and helpful to work through life with others.

Thank you for coming along for the ride!