Over the last two weeks, I worked hard to move into a new life. I’ve moved into a new home. I moved in with my girlfriend of 20 months. My children are getting used to living with us. We have consolidated two households from different areas. I worked to grow my business and new business and more.
I worked to balance all of these major life changes!
All these major and positive life changes have kept me busy. <- (Understatement)
Before I proceed further, I’d like to request something of you, my friend, my relative, my loved one, my family, my random or returning visitor. I’d like you to read further with the spirit with which I write this.
Positivity and hopefulness.
This may or may not be possible. You owe me nothing. This is your life to choose what and where you will do things. I have no expectations of you.
I share this for a few reasons:
- I am very hopeful for the future.
- I feel very positive.
- The news is a bit to large for me to digest alone. So I’m sharing.
I learned a few years back that I am not able to process everything all by myself. Whether good or bad, sometimes I need to ground a thing by sharing it with other people. It can diffuse the potency of a thing like sending lightning through a lightning rod, down a copper wire and into a spike in the ground where it is safe.
Electricity can be used for positive or negative. It depends on what we do with it.
I am working on positive.
Too much of a good thing, too much of a bad thing, can be unwieldy. So I’m sharing. This may not directly impact the majority of you. It is simply a story. You might empathize or not.
I would love it if you empathize and feel a positive present and if inclined a positive future.
As moves go, I was super busy moving furniture, driving trucks and trailers and packing and unpacking and cleaning. I tried to keep up with work too each day. I almost succeeded.
I did what I could and that will suffice. 🙂
I received a voice mail on the 5th of August. About three weeks back, I had gone to the VA to have a biopsy. I had a spot on my cheek just below my right eye. It had been there almost 2 years. It went through a process of drying out, turning flaky, breaking off, and then creating a small dot of a scab. Then it would repeat the cycle. It sort of felt like an under the skin pimple.
I went in an a youngish doctor came in wearing very high, high heals. I wore toe shoes. A nurse joined us and joked about the doctor’s high heels. Everyone was friendly. They gave me a couple shots in the face, and cut out a section of the spot with a scalpel for the biopsy.
I get squeamish sometimes. It is not a cerebral thing. It is more of a hypoglycemic thing.
Sometimes I pass out when I give blood. I almost passed out watching the epidermal video before my first child was born.
At other times, pain and gore does not bother me at all.
I duct taped my finger back together after almost chopping it off with an axe when I was a teenager. (finger works fine)
I laughed for an hour when a nurse scrubbed my hide (leg, ankle, ass) to get all the rocks out of my hide after flying through an intersection after a motorcycle accident twenty some years ago.
I was not squeamish at all during the actual births of any of my children.
I felt mostly nothing during the biopsy. I definitely did not feel any pain. I could feel the slight pressure of something digging around inside of me.
I got squeamish. I needed an ice pack around my neck to come back to myself in a few minutes after the procedure.
It was no big deal. I share it to acknowledge this aspect of myself.
It is not a weakness. It is not a strength. It is just something that randomly occurs.
Two weeks later, the voice mail from the same doctor informed me that the biopsy had come back positive for Basal Cell Carcinoma.
I’m looking at this as Cancer with a little “c”.
To quote WebMD, which has previously predicted my eminent demise for every possible condition ever…
It’s natural to feel worried when your doctor tells you that you have it, but keep in mind that it’s the least risky type of skin cancer.
As I write this, I have not yet shared the ‘little’ news with anyone yet. I will and today.
I have had about 24 hours to digest it and feel just a little worried, emphasis on “little”.
I do need to schedule surgery and find a surgeon and a number of other things. I do not really know what is involved yet with all these things.
My next door neighbor had skin cancer on his face a few years back. The cancer was not a big issue for him. The surgery recovery was. He contracted a case of MRSA and ended up being hospitalized for 2-3 months. It took him about a year to recover his health after that. He had to cancel a new album and a European tour for his band’s comeback. He’s a good guy, but I am not my neighbor.
This is my challenge and my results no matter what will be my own. I share my knowledge of his experience as he is one of the few people I know to have experienced this.
My ignorance in this area out weighs my knowledge.
So in the midst of settling into my new life, growing my new life, moving forward with my new life, building my new life, I’m going to schedule a quick and easy and successful surgery and excise this little “c” from my life.
Positive Request for Helpful Information
If you have experience with this little “c” scenario, I would love to get some perspective. Your experiences or circumstances are not mine.
Regardless, on my good days, I am capable of learning from the stories of other people. On really good days, I can take that knowledge and make a better course for myself.
As my life is not yours, I may or may not do something useful with the information. It might not apply for my situation or options. I can grow from the knowledge regardless.
I would ask for positive tips. I’m not looking for negatives nor fear based perspectives at the moment. Negative experiences and fear based perspectives might be entirely valid.
However, currently they are not something I can use well. I say this not to dismiss or diminish any amazing struggles that you have experienced and survived. I say it simply to acknowledge what I am currently capable of digesting and using to a good effect.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite songs. I have danced down mountains to this song many times. It is not entirely on the topic of this post, but the title relates just a bit.