Day 14

What has been the payoff or protection of being less than whom you really are?

This feels like a trick question. The explanation that follows seems to affirm that it is a question that is not supposed to be asked.

So I cannot answer this question because I now there is no answer. There is no payoff. I have learned this.

The additional paragraphs that follow the leading question (might be feeling a little resentful this morning as I work to wake up and be more of myself) talk about being yourself fully.

Short pause while I grab my supplements and water as I recognize that I am a bit down from lack of caffeine.

I have traveled a path where I tried to be myself and in the trying, I was myself.

The thing is, I was travelling a path and did not know where the destination of ‘self’ was nor did I know how to get there. I was aware of what I was doing. I learned as I went along. I made countless course directions along the way.

  • I knew I needed education
  • I knew I wanted to write
  • I knew that I wanted to help people improve their businesses
  • I knew that I wanted to run my own company
  • I knew that working in other companies pulled me away from building my own
  • I knew that I wanted to build a company with a team of people
  • I knew that I wanted a partner that I could have meaningful conversations, communications and share my life with them

These are just a few of the course directions that steer my work, my career that steer me towards what I do.

Along the way, there have been many situations and temptations that have tried to blow me off course. Headwinds might blow in and tempt me towards following a different path, an easier path or someone else’s path or a path that seemed to cover one of the things ‘I knew’ was part of the goal, but in reality might not have been the best choice of the options. Sometimes when we hike, we can not hike straight to the top of the mountain. We follow switch backs when we have a trail. When we do not, we follow our instincts and do our best. Sometimes we find ourselves at a dead end. Sometimes that path that starts easy, ends very difficult and vice versa.

Well…. It’s time for me to get hiking down today’s path.  

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