Tonight is one of those strange evenings. It’s been a long, relatively difficult week.

It has been a good week too.

It is a Saturday night, just after midnight. I just stepped into a large garden tub to soak and relax.

I left the bathroom door unlocked, and my ex-wife is driving over to pick up her puppy.

how to safely invite your ex over while in the tub with her puppy in the house

Initially, I locked the door, because neither of us is looking for ‘one of those encounters’. Correction: I am not.

Putting Words in People’s Mouths

I am working at trying to avoid making statements like the above statement. I have an overdeveloped sense of empathy. Speaking for my ex-wife’s intentions is not my goal. Letting other people put words in my mouth that never came out of my mouth is something I am working to stop as well.

Speaking for my ex-wife’s intentions is not my goal. It is a bad habit.

Letting other people put words in my mouth that never came out of my mouth is something I am working to stop as well.

This is a part of setting healthy boundaries.

An hour before I got into the tub, I coaxed my younger daughter to go to sleep. I’m staying at a friend’s house in the guest room, while they are out-of-town. My place undergoes fumigation due to the gift that kept on giving from Saving Snuffles the Cat.

My daughter felt spooked in the big dark house with foreign sounds. So when I got her to go to sleep, I turned on the light in the bathroom where the tub was.

I filled up the tub, and shut the door and turned on a nearby closet light to keep things from getting too scary on the off chance she might wake up.

After I got into the tub and locked the door, I realized that my daughter might wake up and panic because a closet can be spookier to any child who just watched Monster’s Inc the day before as Mya had.

So I hopped out of the tub, and puddled my way to the door to unlock the door just in case she’d panic and come looking for me.


In addition to getting my daughter to go to sleep. I had to sing my ex-wife’s puppy to sleep as well. Her puppy is about 3 months old and I had temporarily crated her in the kitchen in a cloth crate.  This was near the door where my ex would pick her up and at the opposite end of the house.

This made strategic sense for a number of reasons.

Tactically not so much, the puppy felt scared alone. So like my three children from years ago, I found myself calmly and quietly singing in a low key to the puppy until she fell asleep too.

A sleeping puppy is far better than a frightened, barking, shrieking puppy that has learned how to roll a cloth crate over and over again like a Zorbing ball on a hill.

Later, I realized that stationing a sleeping child somewhere is probably more than ample for the lack of anything happening that I wanted.

Plan A – Chips, Dip, Lottery Tickets and a free book

Earlier in the week I set out to follow a plan. It was not a very good plan. I recognized it as a very unlikely plan the moment I put it down in text. Some of you may have read this plan earlier on this website.

The plan went something along the lines of:

  1. buy a lottery ticket,
  2. write a book,
  3. by some potato chips and French onion dip,
  4. eat the potato chips and French onion dip,
  5. when the lottery Saturday night, and
  6. give the book away on Sunday to help people.

I made this plan earlier in the week when I (felt like I had) run out of other options. It came to me in a moment of intuition.

It wasn’t as elegant as something an Underpants Gnome might come up with, but my plan was defined. 

The Elegance of the Underpants Gnome Business Plan

Planning to win it big!

Like anyone who plans to win the lottery, I instantly seized on the plan and proceeded to move forward with executing the plan. In the back of my mind, my experience working in finance and accounting and studying statistics and calculus and many other practical disciplines informed me that my likelihood of succeeding in this plan was infinitesimal.

The funny thing about intuition is that it doesn’t necessarily follow the practicalities of probabilities. It follows feelings.

Practicalities get things done.

Feelings get us doing practical things.

I am rarely one to settle back and rely on just a single plan.

Creating my Plan A, enabled me to get a good nights sleep. It settled my mind and allowed me to let go of the anxiety that was threatening me and my rest.

I should mention that my girlfriend Sharon, whom I am in love with, helped me arrive at this insight. She provided some prompts as she performed multiple Tarot card readings for me.  At the time I got the impression that the readings did not make a lot of intuitive sense to her. The strengths or lack there of in my Plan are my responsibility alone.

The insight and motivation and love and empathy that Sharon provided me with were beautiful and I am sincerely grateful and appreciative.

Anyway, weak signs or not, my sense of imagination was equal to the task, even when I was at the end of my rope.

That is how I came up with Plan A.

The next morning, I got to work opening up opportunities to create a Plan B and a Plan C and many of those opportunities started to unfold as the week progressed.

Things were looking up with my business, and some new opportunities were showing up on the new job horizon as well.

I did not intend to leave any stone unturned!

Thursday afternoon as I drove home from the mountains of North Carolina,  the temperatures were about 81° degrees.  This rapidly changed to sweltering heat as I approached Charlotte, North Carolina where the temperatures were 102° on my arrival.

I made a mental note to myself that it would be wonderful to have a car that had air-conditioning that worked!

Unfortunately, my AC had stopped working a couple months earlier.

Regardless of the heat, I did not deviate from my plan. Along the way I did purchase a lottery ticket.

Again, my education led me to believe that the seven dollars would have been better off saved and invested.

The wisdom that I have gained over the last year about my emotional health, taught me that the seven dollars was an investment in my hope for the future.

The seven dollars may or may not generate any additional monetary outcomes with the North Carolina education lottery system.  Like many poor people, I could’ve viewed myself as a victim to a poor tax.

Sometimes we have to live to fight another minute.

The reality is that I needed a little extra hope that day. I was not going to settle for just a lottery ticket, but I did need to take that leap of faith in my intuition and myself to get through the minute and the hot hour and the day a little better.

That evening, I also purchased a great big bag of Lays potato chips and a plastic tub of French onion dip.

Chips and Dip

Even before my trip, I was already starting to get better business leads and opportunities rolling in. I was not going to let go of Plan A. I was not going to let go of Plan B or C either!

Happy on Facebook

Each day I continue to work on my book. I am making progress, and getting close to having something that is ready for editing.

E-book standards have dropped in my opinion, and if I wanted to I could probably publish an e-book and offer it up for free tomorrow on Sunday.

Don’t text your Ex!

Just received a text from my ex. The puppy has been picked up!

I am very happy about that for two reasons.

Why did I have my ex-wife’s puppy in the first place?

I do not intend to get lost on a tangent, but it was nice hanging out with a puppy this evening. The puppy is young and needed a whole lot of attention.

There were times when the puppy was a troublemaker.  I love dogs and puppies too, and this was not a problem.

Frankly, the puppy lifted my spirits. Earlier in the day, I started to feel slightly overwhelmed. The feelings were not without justification. My delayed supper could have been a major contributor as well.

There is nothing like a puppy to melt your heart and lift your spirits. This is probably why I readily agreed to help watch the puppy without a moment’s hesitation.

That’s not true.  There are other reasons.

I like to be a nice person and help people. Sometimes this gets me into trouble, and sometimes this distracts me from my purpose in life and sometimes this is my purpose in life.

My ex-wife has made a great deal of progress on herself over the last year. I want her to find success and happiness. I was able to help in a small way by watching her puppy during a pseudo-professional emergency involving wine and paint and a student with a puppy phobia….

Anyway, I’m still working it out. I’m not going to analyze it to death.

The puppy and my ex-wife are gone.

So as I sit here and relax in the tub, and no longer have any angst about being interrupted.

I work hard to let a lot of things go. 🙂

This is something that I have to work on regularly. It is not a one and done type of thing.

As I sit here dripping sweat, I’m letting go of a lot of toxins and other things from my system. Mentally I’m letting go of even more, toxic thoughts, toxic history, toxic guilt and more.  Goodbye, thanks for the life lessons, good riddance to the toxins… Right down the drain.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and I will await to find out if my Plan A will be the only plan that I need.

Even if Plan A succeeds, I will fulfill my responsibilities under Plan B to help my clients.

We are taking a website live this weekend for a school system in San Francisco. I can’t wait to see this web site live.

If I follow Plan B, this will be an excellent example in my refreshed portfolio of work. I am proud of the results that we have achieved on this particular website.

I completed the majority of work last March. I am doing some final steps to set the website live and establish a more robust donation system working with First Data.

I do not know if I will follow through with plan C which involves a new line of work.

I probably will.

In fact, if Plan A does work out in any form or fashion, you will probably never hear about it from me.

At this point, I’m going to turn off my headphone microphone, and shutdown Dragon Naturally Speaking (Mac Dictate version) and my laptop and finish relaxing. I do have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, no matter what happens.

Enough about me…

I don’t care what your Plan A is or your plan B or your plan C. I am not judging you and working hard not to judge myself.

I do hope that you do not give up hope on yourself!

Keep looking for whatever it is that helps get you through the minute or the hour or the night or the day or the week.

There are wonderful and loving and beautiful people in the world out there. You are one of them, and I am rooting for you to do amazing things.



Today is Sunday afternoon. My kids are all here with me or at least coming and going. Zoe is creating some beautiful jewelry and day-dreaming about purchasing a new laptop as hers is 6 years old and acting cranky. Corbin has a day off of work and is off chasing Pokemon in a park like I used to chase girls and places to skate-board at his age. Mya is playing with her dolls.

I am working hard on Plan B today!


For those of you who may have really been looking for a How to about taking a bath safely while your ex-wife or ex-husband or ex-whatever comes over…

I only offer up my own lessons, but if you searched for this and came here… Ask yourself why are you searching for such a thing?

My quick lessons  on How to safely invite your ex over while taking a bath

  • Don’t text your ex
  • Lock your door
  • Consider whether puppy sitting is really for you
  • Station a mutual child between yourself and your ex
  • Put the puppy close to the door and take a bath at the far opposite end of the house
  • Just don’t take a bath, a bad stink can go a long way!
  • Don’t confuse this with a good stink

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